Jeepers Heapers

When you think of a "heap"  the mind does a curious thing,  it can create a heap that contains almost anything.   A heap of grass seed. A heap of dirt.  A heap of toys or a heap of trouble.  Let's not forget that even politics can be a heap while we're at it.  A heap of bovine bull manure at times; for short,  B.B.M.  -- but does that lead to our usual difficult question, " how did that ever transmogrify and evolve into a heap of  B.S."? That's a freebie, no answer required.  
     Let us  attempt to avoid  digression  any more than usual;  the  awakened reader can figure that one out at their leisure.   Here at Incoming Bytes  we make  it a practice not to place four-letter designer invectibles in literary saucy  where avoidable.   --Since  there are always finer ways to express  one's inner and outer progressive and transgressive thoughts, that is.  After all, the English language is perhaps also one of the finest gardening tools in the world.

     Back to heaps,  out in the garden we've just had a heap of cold weather following the unbelievable scourge of dry heat this summer.  In NW Ontario, killing frost two nights in a row usually does it.  Out comes the garden, since the tomato plants want to turn black, and the cucumber,  squash and pumpkin vines all sag in protest after being insulted by Jack Frost himself.  What about the heap?  Oh, right, back to heaps.

     We grew stuff on a "heap" this year, the second annual experiment in advanced heap technology.  It's not complicated, a heap of organic matter and dirt flattened out on top,  voila', an  instant raised planting bed a.k.a.  "a high-tech  heap".  Raised gardening beds heat up earlier, grow faster, and  "provide topographic variety for amusement  where none existed previously".  (That description was carefully pre-planned ). 
 
     It (THE heap)  can contain old hay,  sawdust,  old composted manure (not the political stuff) and all kinds of alternative organic stuff like green grass clippings, wood chips, kitchen compost, some sand, last years garden refuse,  collectible  horse puckies from the riding stable,  you name it, add it, and there it is, --your own personal heap.  Personalized and custom-made.

     Great system, you'll see,   here's  # 2,  the "Heap 2011 " in full growth a couple of weeks ago, that was before Jack decided to visit.   Notice it has sunflowers on top  for dreamy  sunflower lovers and for Glory Lennon, our official green-thumbed garden zeitgeist,  --and even for south-migrating birds who get to eat the seeds.

'The Heap'   2011  a.k.a.  "Heap 2"

HIt

     Not bad-looking for an ordinary heap eh? The vines covered a circular area approximately 35 feet across.  
      "What vines"? you ask. Those vines.  Vines  a la  Hubbard squash, cantaloupe, pumpkins,  acorn squash, spaghetti squash, and a couple of  oddball heirlooms.   They all produce quaint offerings on vines.  Fine vines they were, too!  There were 10 spaghetti squash on one  healthy vine from one plant alone,  --but why describe them when we can just show a picture of those treasures salvaged en masse  instead?  A whole quad-buggy-full.  That was what was left over after we picked a few.  A prolific heap it was.

A Heap of Produce from 'The Heap'  2011

The bottom line?  A heap can be a wonderfully productive thing.

     Sadly, all growing seasons come to an end.  Jack said so.  Jack Frost, that is.  Here's all that's left of Heap 2011, -- but  with hope eternal, notice the huge heap of vines getting ready to contribute to Heap 2012.

     We will "turn over" heap 2011 and compost the vine collection complete with old weeds, extra-rotten old hay, and any fine BBM we can glean from politicos and other sources --to turn it into something  organic and  useful.   Let's grow some organic squash  and such with that kind of stuff  instead of just shoveling it about, flinging it here, tossing it there. 

     I have a good idea. Plan ahead.  Build a heap yourself. You, too, can be a Successful Heaper.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.