Technology is Wonderful: Macaroni in the Printer

With endless and wondrous developments in computers, peripherals and wonderful gadget technology,  I-Pods, I-Pads, I-phones and " I-everything" one would think by now office equipment would be "I-fail" -- fail-safe, that is, close to infallible.   Much perfection, made in China,  and indestructible. Press the button, it goes. Maybe.
Computers, label-makers, printers, you name it.  All perfect, enough to make one itch for more new overpriced junk with buttons to press.
 

The Old Paper Chute

From a birds-eye view, stuff works  pretty well. at least until the day after the warranty expires.  All of the little common-sense safeguards are installed that might be expected. All of the impossible little quirks should be ironed out, too,  no?
No.  They forgot one.   How do we know that?  We got macaroni in the printer. 

Printers have a nice little chute for paper. Ah, you say-- the paper chute, that's where the paper is supposed to go.
  That's where the paper did go. The paper with the macaroni on it.




 
Fan a sheaf of paper, stick it in the old paper chute, press the "Go" button, and oooh, la la!--  out comes the printing in perfect condition. Documents, 18ppm, black or in colour.   Copies of beautiful art even.  
Not so.  Why?  The printer jammed.  It got macaroni in it. The high-tech message screen blinks.  It says "Paper Jamb"  but we know differently. It's a macaroni-jamb.  The machine isn't that smart. At the very minimum the little screen should say " Remove pasta or other foreign objects and press "Reset".   
No matter, maybe they'll think of that important improvement for the new, improved model.


It is a wonderful little piece of artwork, the  nouveau-artiste-child-genius kind, the 4-year-old child variety that Grandmother's collect, faithfully sticking them on  corkboard walls in a medly of escapism  with I-love-Grandma valentine hearts,  big smiles and sharp little coloured tacks.
Macaroni art;  stuff  the hungry dreams of  Michelangelo were made of as he painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel just before lunch.

Displaying  such treasures boldly  on walls designates  the artist's accomplishment a creation worthy of  admiration by all --and creates immense happiness. The little artist with paint and glue on his face stands back, hands on hips,  and admires it with pride, a grin and knowing look in his eye.  We know how to make copies.

Macaroni Art

 Macaroni art --glue, macaroni, rice,  pinto beans, spaghetti, more rice, barley,  a sprinkle of colour-- lentils and such, coupled with a creative set of little hands  and finger paint, makes a memorable piece of art. Heavy art. Easily dissembled art.

How do we know all that? It must hate tacks.  It  plans escapes and jumps off of corkboard walls right into paper chutes. That's it.

Now the printer doesn't work.




   
 
Not willing to dismiss the  complexities of  technology,  the genius micro-artist can't quite complete his next creation, the one he  has already drawn on the computer, which is hooked onto a cable.   On the end of the cable, we already know, there is a printer.
We press the button and expect it to work but it doesn't.  The paper won't go in the chute. Why?  It's got macaroni in it. 
Not the gummy  'KD' kind with cheese.  Not cooked.  Not Mac and Cheese himself.  Just ordinary, off-the-wall-double-back-flip- into the-paper chute macaroni, the elbow kind.  The kind that crunches when you turn the printer on.

We might  have to get a new one.
Oh well, the cartridge was no good anyway and at Incoming Bytes our astute  readers don't have to guess it's the day after the warranty runs out.  That figures.  It's probably  just as well. I don't think warranties cover macaroni in the printer anyway.  They'll send the bill with the new one.  
 *sigh.

Wonder what I'll have for lunch. Mac and cheese?

Is that incoming I hear?

Craft Treasures: Diamond Willow

The Age of Light is upon Us

IN times past, everything was made by hand.
Folk art and hand-crafted items were high-quality then, and in many cases,  over time, became incredibly valuable treasures and keepsakes.  The fact is, you can make your own --and pass them to YOUR grandchildren too!
In the world of hand crafting,  it is always tremendously  exciting to find materials that are different, something  natural and usable  that is a just a bit out of the ordinary. It is  more exciting to find those fascinating materials close at hand and even better if they are free for the taking.  Always make sure you ask permission to remove specimens from private property.  
Handmade wooden crafts can be turned into unique treasures with exotic materials, but how many of us have Mahogany, Tigerwood, Purple Heartwood, a piece of bird's-eye Maple, or  even a nicely-dried  burl from a Jackpine tree?  
Perhaps one of the fanciest materials available in northern climates  is as close at hand as the nearest river-bottom or the edge of an old farm field.
Willow.  Specifically, Diamond willow.    Here's a photo of a diamond willow clump still standing out in the back 40 on my walking  trail. Looks pretty drab, doesn't it?

Diamond Willow

 Diamond willow grows in typical clumps of a  perhaps a half-dozen or more  trunks sprouting from the same root system.   At Incoming Bytes we're always concerned about the environment, but there are no "green" worries here.  It's fast-growing. If you needed enough material to cut the whole clump down, it will grow back quite rapidly--within  a few years .  Nothing strange about that, it's willow, and it's tough. Willow likes wet land, so that's a good place to look.
What is interesting and strange though,  is the erratic, unusual pattern that develops in the  wood of the individual trunks of diamond willow trees as they mature.   
Here's a picture of an older,  more mature trunk with a highly advanced pattern.
These select pieces of diamond willow are unique diamonds in the rough. No two pieces are exactly the same.

Older Diamond Willow with Unique,  Characteristics

Notice that the specific patterns in the diamond willow advance and develop substantially with age.  
Is that surprising, since everything changes as it ages?   
What is so special about Diamond willow?  Every piece is absolutely unique  and beautiful.

Diamond Willow being Peeled

Check out this new piece .  It is in the process being very carefully peeled and cleaned off by careful scraping and sanding.  Much care is taken not to remove the patterned darker wood --which contrasts nicely with the light, cream-coloured wood. As these diamonds -in-the-rough are cleaned, their natural beauty emerges.



 Diamond willow can be used for any craft purpose, decorative applications , handles, or other objects.  Younger saplings and pieces are strong and can be used for walking sticks, canes or similar purposes. 
Check out the beautiful natural shapes shown in the wood of this walking stick and cane.  They are not carved.  
They are both almost ready  to be varnished with Varathane or spar varnish.  Rubber 'tips' will be added to prevent damage to the contact surface.  The cane handle split is natural growth. 

Diamond Willow Cane  and Walking Stick   (c) rakukkee2012

There you go, crafts-people!  Isn't diamond willow beautiful?   While we're at it, here's a picture of an old lamp made with diamond willow many years ago, but now sporting a  modern, compact fluorescent light bulb.

The natural holes in this natural  piece of diamond willow lamp go all the way through the body.  This piece is unusual in that  in the top cavity,  there exists another small, wavy,  almost independent trunk growing inside of the main trunk body.









At Incoming Bytes I enjoy natural beauty and encourage everyone to use it judiciously and carefully in handmade projects.  Wait 'til my gardening zeitgeist -crafting Princess Glory Lennon sees this !
More natural beauty is on the way.  Is it spring yet?




Is that Incoming I hear?

Early Birds: Pileated Woodpeckers

Pileated Woodpecker

 
I couldn't believe my eyes. Flashes of black, white and red.  Out of the blue, two birds--big ones- flew by the window, back and  forth, before literally disappearing into a hole close to the top of a huge, old poplar tree. 
For the record, it was a winter day,  January 30, 2012 .

Well, okay.   Other than that it was pretty ordinary. Here at Incoming Bytes every time we turned around and blinked,  it was still white and winter. Even with wishful thinking, winter seems to be dragging,  it hasn't warmed up much.  Not that I'm complaining.  My pretty  boss reminds me  'we live in Canada",  winks  and hands me hot coffee.  
    I guess sometimes good things happen on winter days  too.  The sun eventually shines.  Snow slides off  the slippery steel roof with a roar.  Faces of snowmen melt and other interesting, amazing things take place. Sit in a snow bank and  watch snow fleas or deer, your choice.  The two pups run around like there's no tomorrow, sniffing at everything cool. That's because everything is cool.

But the woodpeckers  showing up, that was a genuine happening even if   it was a typically brutal -24C  winter morning. It turned around and snowed for a bit --nothing serious, maybe a couple of centimeters --oh, let's just say a cool inch  for Imperial old-timers. Around here it typically tends to mild up a bit when it starts snowing. For the forgetful unaware reader let's remind ourselves it still happened to be the 30th, a cold, damp and  bleary day with the thermometer hovering and shivering down at -13C,  warm by January standards in NW Ontario.
No matter. Oops, back to business.  Guess what. The birds spotted were Pileated Woodpeckers! They seem to be way too early this year. Early birds. A nesting pair yet.
 
If you know anything about  Pileated Woodpeckers, they are  majestic birds, about 17" tall,   the biggest woodpecker species that inhabits northern climes. Dryocopus pileatus. (  almost big enough to eat us)  Imagine having a name like that.
They nest in holes that would make carpenters equipped with 40' ladders, a lot of  nerve  and sharp chisels jealous.  The holes are hacked into  the heartwood of trees  with the entrances 40' or more above the ground.  The  unusual rising and falling cuk-cuk-cuk-cuk-cuk-cuk  song and their bright red crests and black and white markings give them away pretty quickly. 
They don't tend to  fly through the air straight either, they have their own Pileated up-down wavy flight method. It works. Most of the time.

Reviving an immature  Pileated Woodpecker

 Maybe it's the curious flight pattern, or maybe they're just a bit clumsy or daffy  from beating their beaks on hard wood as they excavate the tree trunks. With the young ones, maybe it's just not enough practice because they get in trouble sometimes. See the one in the photo I rescued a couple of years ago?

A young Pileated woodpecker  hit the solid brick wall of  the house a couple of years ago and was knocked unconscious. I happened to hear the 'thunk' and  got to the big bird before the pups found it.
After a bit of treatment he revived quickly with a shake of his head. Survival mode kicked in with the gag complex when a few drops of water was placed on his barely-open beak
That trick seems to work  for an unconscious bird.  As you can see he shook his head, spraying water everywhere.   He looked around like he was stunned, after we chatted for a bit and underwent  a thorough pre-flight wing check,  perhaps a couple of minutes,  he flew off without any apparent damage.  Every bird should be so lucky. 
Perhaps we should all be so lucky in life.  Even too early in January.   Cuk-cuk-cuk-cuk-cuk-cuk...

Is that incoming I hear?