Abusive Relationships: Writing for Quantum Change

The Age of Light is upon us

I write,  because frankly, I love to write about everything.
How about you?  Do you itch to write about this or that, something, anything?  Are you compelled to write about relationships, experience,  home life or families?  Do you ever want to change things you perceive as wrong? 

I  practice writing for quantum change.   I want to see change for the better in society, --even the smallest change, and  in many cases, I want others to change for the better on their own initiative, by being honest with themselves.  I want  society's leaders to lead. 

I have to be honest and admit I have a secret. I am
impatient.   I want to change things for the better instantly if not sooner --but  some things need to be changed instantly if not sooner.  

One of the major problems with that theory is that one must correctly understand what the status quo really is at the moment of observation. Reality. 
Perpetrators of wrongs must see themselves as doing wrong. 
 Abusive people need to be made to see themselves as they really are. Abusers. Abusers of women and children, abusers of seniors, the weak, and unfortunate pets.   Abusers are those individuals  that abuse anyone or anything that  happens to be less powerful, less able to protect themselves and unable to escape. 

Surprisingly, it is survival of cowards  that comes to mind. 
The fact is, abusers are insecure, weak-minded,  incompetent cowards that viciously abuse and minimize others to aggrandize themselves, to show how "powerful and superior" they are.  
In fact, little do they realize, they reveal themselves to be weak-minded, pathetic cowards --even psychotic and mentally ill individuals.

Any writer can default happily and  make up fiction, but the realities of physical abuse of women, children and families can be  black eyes, broken minds, broken hearts, broken homes, and broken bones--even death.    
 What society is doing now, or what is not being done, what is  subtly approved, --right now, rightly or wrongly  --and the bruises society's  victims wear --is what has to be dealt with, and now.  Denial  by society is unacceptable. Denial by individuals is unacceptable. 
How is the future framework of society established ? 
By what we do today. What we formulate and accept as normal today.  What is considered acceptable today.  
 Human beings are interesting subjects, interesting entities, and in the fantasy world, society is extremely fascinating --misguided or not,  faulty or not,  modified by aversion therapy a la  Clockwork Orange  or not.  

In reality , however, society is defective. 
Reality. Broken bones.  Bruises.  Being choked  is what it is, not what one may fancifully pretend it to be. Denial does not erase bruises or repair broken bones. 
The tendency to abuse can be modified and "fixed" but only with  willful --and honest attention. 
We  may arbitrarily and solemnly declare there are  underlying issues, events, and dissociated facts,  social causes that precipitate attacks  upon others in  abusive  relationships.  We're supposed to generously allow for those.  We convince ourselves it is unnecessary to intervene,  pretend it unnecessary to force anyone to be truthful  --after all, we can compensate with social feel-good understanding and give them a dandy "slap on the wrist".    
Sure, we can. We're an advanced society, supposedly  we can be politically correct and go out of our way to understand deviant behaviour. 
 Somehow that's supposed to make things better, it is supposed to prevent black eyes and bruises, broken bones and death, but it does not.
If we  remain silent and say nothing  we renege  on our duty to society.  We avoid facing perpetrators down..  We avoid pointing fingers.  Never rock the boat, never pay inordinate  attention to anything. Be 'politically correct'.  Ignore  the blatant regression of civility, society, ethics, and  brutality within relationships -shall we also silently blame and admonish the victims? 
After all, it's the status quo. It's approved by society's experts.
 
It's 'normal' according to society's 'experts' , so it's 'fine'.   It's been happening for centuries, so it's 'fine'.  Some cultures approve, even promote the abuse of women as property of spineless, vicious, abusive  men, so it's acceptable.    In some archaic patriarchal  cultures, "honour killing"  of daughters, sisters and siblings is "fine".
It's a typical strong man, weak woman relationship 'authorized' and , by neglect, seemingly approved by liberal feel-good social studies regardless how outrageous that may be.     
Guess what?  At Incoming Bytes, it is not "fine" .
I have no intention of accepting the status quo of the continuous abuse of  women, children or pets.
 I'm writing for quantum change, and you can too. 
If you dare.



That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Democracy: A damaged pull toy?

The dogs of 'Tug-of-war'

 It is simple and fascinating entertainment for this early, mild winter.


I take a break and watch my two young dogs out in the snow  playing 'tug of war'  with  pull toys. The dogs themselves are different as night and day, one black, short and compact with a lot of fur, the other tan, tall,  and short-haired.  They're about the same age, still young enough to love playing with pull toys.
Pull toys are those brightly-coloured,  braided rope things everyone has,  inexpensive entertainment for dogs of all sizes and shapes.  Some come  with a short-lived fuzzy  tennis-ball on them,  a knobby plastic bone, or a loop for a handle.  They can be woven, braided or knotted, but  the actual construction is almost irrelevant as they get  dragged around, chewed up, and eventually totaled.
It's tough being  a pull toy around here. 


The combatants stand nose to nose, jaws clamped  tightly, seemingly to the death, pulling, growling, stiff-legged, shaking their heads,  not giving an inch except to reposition for a better grip or to gain some other advantage.  They are commonly both on the same end of the short rope, jaw to jaw, nose to nose, trying to gain as much of the plaything as possible.
Curiously, if called, given direction, such as  'wanna go for a walk?'  or otherwise, they will often mutually turn and  run in the same direction, side by side,  teamwork immediately apparent, but both are still unwilling to let go.


At times, in the mutual  attempt to dislodge the other determined combatant  from the rope they will  shake their heads so hard  it makes me wonder if  concussions could result, --how about  neck or brain damage,  like damaged hockey players-- injuries still arrogantly and vehemently denied by a few 'agitated and uninformed, but ' manly' sports advocates.  Hockey greats Crosby and Pronger  are  the latest, but  no matter--the injuries speak clearly for themselves, and yes,  we digress as surely as the dogs of tug-of-war  growl  in bravado and give nary an inch. Making big money with hockey leagues is  more important.  A tug-of-war between profit and common sense.  Go figure.  Back to the pups under observation.
Ultimately  the dogs might mutually drop the pull toy into the snow because of exhaustion, disinterest,  or sudden distraction like the chatter of a squirrel,  a scolding raven fly-by 100 feet in the blue sky above them,  a snow plow or  the occasional vehicle sputtering  down the road.

  
Bottom line,  unless specifically rescued from it's trials out in the cold world, the pull toy always gets the worst of it.

Shredded, chewed to bits, braiding segregated,  parts missing, lost in the snow - dismembered, abandoned or  just plain forgotten. Strangely,  it may be rediscovered at some later date,  and if enough material exists at the time of that revelation,  with a few sturdy knots and some attention it may be adequately restored to tolerate yet another round of use and abuse.  
Sounds something like democracy, isn't it?  Is democracy in North America like a damaged pull toy that will eventually be abandoned because of severe damage?  Can democracy survive stress, parts arbitrarily being removed,  'modified and stretched' in all directions, endless attacks perpetrated with intent  by the devious?  Is that process condoned by apathy and disinterest in government process? How about where the systemic, malicious degradation of democracy is practiced?

 Is democracy as we know it to be eventually abandoned? Can democracy be rediscovered and restored?

At Incoming Bytes we suggest this analogy should not be ignored, lost, forgotten, or abandoned. Why?
Since 9/11, personal  freedoms in North America  have been under attack under the guise of security. The images of  riots, pepper-spraying 'officers' and  riot-equipped police state are far too common. Across North America the 'Occupy This' movement was shut down by bureaucracy-- clearly with no moral right to stifle civilian protest and demonstration. Our leaders remove individual freedoms as they empower themselves and practice self-entitlement.   

Will North American democracy continue to be willfully  damaged, to a point where it will be eventually  abandoned?

The question must be: Following devious, repressive governance,  shall ever more extreme governments be installed until democracy is shattered?
History shows that the abuse of power eventually leads to the destruction of government--regardless of political dogma practiced.  Perhaps power leads to willful blindness and madness as well as abuse of power? 


The reader at Incoming Bytes  is encouraged to observe, think, and speak out --for change of direction and constructive teamwork--before genuine democracy is shredded, abandoned, AND  forgotten. 
Watching that progression is fascinating too--just keep that tug of war in mind.







That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Holiday Hullabaloo

Christmas

The Holiday Hullabaloo is upon us.  Merry Christmas eh?    Belonging to Procrastinators RUS,  I am tempted to procrastinate, um...well,... but at Incoming Bytes  we must urge ourselves to write on about such things with vigor, to help effect quantum change, save the planet and all that.

Sometimes the  process of Christmas  is stressful and raises the ire and the digital numbers on the blood-pressure monitor too. That's not the only problem created by the Holiday Hullabaloo.
The pressure and hullabaloo of holidays causes other problems:

1.   We discover shopping is work.  We already have enough work.
2. Nobody seems to remember what Christmas was for. That's because everyone is suffering from, you guessed it :
3. Shopping madness-- well,  more shopping madness,  that is.  Buy into the corporate spend- spend-spend yet? Feeling guilty about not spending enough?
4. The wrong shoes.   Shopping makes the feet hurt.  The best solution for that is to wear work boots.  Big, heavy work boots.  Boots that leave big tracks. Refer back to number 1, Shopping is Work.
5. The wrong hat.  Fighting crowds and running about possessed makes one overheat, contributing to madness.  Let's leave that furry winter hat at home, or at least in the car, where the dog can chew it up for you instead of chewing on the car seat.
6. Left turns through red lights.  Why is it that everybody has to hold up traffic turning left  through red lights at Christmas?  Turn right for a change!
7. NO, your gigantic SUV will NOT fit into  a parking spot designed for a '67 VW bug!  Go find a bigger one, stop holding up the works! 
8. Stolen parking spots.  The Holiday Hullabaloo  causes the Perfect Parking spot to be stolen before your very eyes.  Get there first is the usual solution. In the interest of keeping the blood pressure down, be polite and avoid parking rage.
9. Artificial  hilarity: Everyone pretends they are happy and smiling. The Grinch knows better.  You know better.You're still suffering from parking rage.
10.  More Shopping madness. The madness of shopping is contagious--next aisle, next store, next door,  next mall, get to them all,  imagine that, rushing around in a desperate attempt to go broke as fast as possible.  "Tis the season to be jolly--and broke" ---and all that.

We have the ultimate solution for Holiday Hullabaloo.

Leave all money and credit cards at home.  Better yet, stay home.  That's the real solution. Make cookies instead. Relax. Schmooze.  Join Procrastinators RUS so you can happily procrastinate.  
Sit in front of a crackling fire.  Read what AnnMarie Dwyer says about the art and math of procrastination.  Learn how to make cookies for gifts at the last minute. Red knows.

While you're at it read Morgidoo's Christmas Carol. Bells will ring at your house once more.  Enjoy the true meaning of Christmas. Smile.  Try a genuine smile. It won't hurt.


  Sometimes  life is  hilarious.   The hilarious holiday hullabaloo.   People are strange and funny, they say and do strange and  funny things. They even drag their tired kids around doing strange, funny things and teach them in turn  how to be strange and funny things. 
They teach them well. Therein lies the perpetration of holiday madness.  It should be vigorously avoided.
Madness comes easily....---oops,  we already said that, but it's worth repeating. Just in time for the Holiday Hullabaloo. How shall we know the difference?


That's my story and I'm sticking to it.