The Holiday Hullabaloo is upon us. Merry Christmas eh? Belonging to Procrastinators RUS, I am tempted to procrastinate, um...well,... but at Incoming Bytes we must urge ourselves to write on about such things with vigor, to help effect quantum change, save the planet and all that.
Sometimes the process of Christmas is stressful and raises the ire and the digital numbers on the blood-pressure monitor too. That's not the only problem created by the Holiday Hullabaloo.
The pressure and hullabaloo of holidays causes other problems:
- We discover shopping is work. We already have enough work.
- Nobody seems to remember what Christmas was for. That's because everyone is suffering from, you guessed it :
- Shopping madness-- well, more shopping madness, that is. Buy into the corporate spend- spend-spend yet? Feeling guilty about not spending enough?
- The wrong shoes. Shopping makes the feet hurt. The best solution for that is to wear work boots. Big, heavy work boots. Boots that leave big tracks. Refer back to number 1, Shopping is Work.
- The wrong hat. Fighting crowds and running about possessed makes one overheat, contributing to madness. Let's leave that furry winter hat at home, or at least in the car, where the dog can chew it up for you instead of chewing on the car seat.
- Left turns through red lights. Why is it that everybody has to hold up traffic turning left through red lights at Christmas? Turn right for a change!
- NO, your gigantic SUV will NOT fit into a parking spot designed for a '67 VW bug! Go find a bigger one, stop holding up the works!
- Stolen parking spots. The Holiday Hullabaloo causes the Perfect Parking spot to be stolen before your very eyes. Get there first is the usual solution. In the interest of keeping the blood pressure down, be polite and avoid parking rage.
- Artificial hilarity: Everyone pretends they are happy and smiling. The Grinch knows better. You know better.You're still suffering from parking rage.
- More Shopping madness. The madness of shopping is contagious--next aisle, next store, next door, next mall, get to them all, imagine that, rushing around in a desperate attempt to go broke as fast as possible. "Tis the season to be jolly--and broke" ---and all that.
We have the ultimate solution for Holiday Hullabaloo.
Leave all money and credit cards at home. Better yet, stay home. That's the real solution. Make cookies instead. Relax. Schmooze. Join Procrastinators RUS so you can happily procrastinate.
Sit in front of a crackling fire. Read what AnnMarie Dwyer says about the art and math of procrastination. Learn how to make cookies for gifts at the last minute. Red knows.
While you're at it read Morgidoo's Christmas Carol. Bells will ring at your house once more. Enjoy the true meaning of Christmas. Smile. Try a genuine smile. It won't hurt.
Sometimes life is hilarious. The hilarious holiday hullabaloo. People are strange and funny, they say and do strange and funny things. They even drag their tired kids around doing strange, funny things and teach them in turn how to be strange and funny things.
They teach them well. Therein lies the perpetration of holiday madness. It should be vigorously avoided.
Madness comes easily....---oops, we already said that, but it's worth repeating. Just in time for the Holiday Hullabaloo. How shall we know the difference?
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.